Raymond Lutzke was simply the most inspirational man I have
ever known. Ray was born mentally handicapped
and grew up down the street from my childhood home in a neighborhood full of
kids just outside of Toledo, Ohio. He was
much larger than all the other kids and his mere size could be
intimidating. Our neighborhood had a
small community swimming pool that was the spot where we all hung out all
summer long. It was the perfect place
for kids to burn off their excess energy while teenagers flirted with their
latest crush and parents could relax and gossip with the neighbors. We all loved the pool, including Ray. I am sure that’s where we met.
The earliest memory I have of Ray is a day
that turned out to shape my childhood.
It was just an average day at the pool, water splashing, the noise
of the diving board and Motown hits playing on the radio in the background,
just mix in a few bathing caps and Speedos and the scene is set. Ray was chasing someone around the pool, when
an older kid trying to impress someone, intentionally tripped Ray. Ray fell and skinned his knee. The kid that tripped Ray laughed and pointed
at Ray and made remarks about his handicap.
I’ll never forget how bad I felt, it was devastating. I thought Ray was going to get up and
strangle the kid. I wanted to help but I
was only a little kid and I was too scared.
Raymond just looked at the guy with this disappointment in his eyes that
just asked why. I can still feel the
sadness I felt that day. Raymond was
bleeding a little from his knee when he got up, but despite this malicious
act Ray just went to a bench to recover and clean up. For most of us at the pool that day this
event was over and we were ready to move on, but not for my sister. My sister was in with the older crowd and popular at the pool. She also has always had a compassion for all
humanity and was not afraid to speak up.
She lit into that kid with the anger of a caged animal and the passion
of a true friend. Everyone stopped and
realized they too had been thinking the same words my sister was emphatically
yelling and were wishing they had the courage to defend Raymond. It was a masterpiece for doing the right
thing. I am sure by the end of that day apologies were made and friendships
restored, but there was also an understanding of the respect that is due your
neighbor regardless of circumstance. From that day forward Raymond was a
fixture at our house. My parents had the
same compassion for Raymond as my sister.
Ray actually became very close with all the families in the
neighborhood. Ray went on to graduate
from the same High school as most of the kids at the pool and become a fixture
in the community. As long as I can
remember he has held one or two jobs and was always willing to help anyone who
asked or anyone Ray thought might need help.
Years later when my sister had kids Raymond would play with them and
care for them with a sensitivity that was special and miraculous to watch. Raymond would do anything to help his neighbors;
he even won citizen of the year in 1988.
When my Mom passed away I thought it would devastate Ray, but to my surprise
he handled it with a simplistic calm saying, “I’m sure going to miss Mom”. He was a pallbearer at her funeral and in a
sea of sadness he was squarely focused on how much fun he had when she was
around and how much he appreciated that feeling. He was there for my Father after she passed
to fill a void only Ray could fill. He
and my Dad had a special relationship for those years that was healthy for both
of them. My Dad tried to teach Ray to
read and Ray taught my Dad how to grieve.
He was a pallbearer at my Father’s funeral and with the same simple
calm, said “I’m sure going to miss Pop”.
Raymond has gone through the years with his share of
challenges, but watching him I’m not sure if he saw challenges or opportunities. He had this resistance to complicating things
and accepting all things with an unconditional optimism and love. I never saw Raymond focus on the things he
didn’t have he was comfortable and appreciative of what he did have. In a world where people spend a lifetime
trying to achieve things they will never accomplish, Raymond spent a lifetime
accomplishing things others thought he could never achieve. It was truly Godly and refreshing to be
around. I have seen Ray in situations that
were difficult for him to comprehend and every time he would just accept it
without passing judgment and move on. He
has forgiven people’s indiscretions against him immediately and unequivocally. Raymond had every reason to complain, but he
didn’t, in fact he was overjoyed with his circumstance. To me Raymond was one of the greatest examples
of God’s grace I have ever seen.
I’m sure going to miss Raymond.
Raymond’s life leaves me wondering if he was mentally handicapped
or am I.
cmgartner
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